2007-07-26
Appreciation
I have never been mistaken for a huge Sheryl Crow fan, but she does have a song with a line that really resonates with me. In the song “Soak Up the Sun”, Crow says, “It’s not having what you want, it wanting what you got.”
Wow! Really, think about that line for a minute.
Life is not about getting what you want. Life is about wanting what you’ve got.
I honestly think Sheryl Crow has decoded the secret to life with one line of a song.
How many of us live our lives focused on all the things we don’t have. We humans tend to think our life would be so much better if only this would happen or if I had that. The truth of the matter is that when we get the thing we thought would make our lives perfect, like a mirage, perfection vanishes and we discover what we “really need” is something else. I have read that people who win substantial sums of money in the lottery self-report that they are happier than normal for about a year and then revert to the same level of happiness they had before they won life-altering amounts of money. Happiness (maybe better said fulfillment) comes from within.
For the last six months, I have really focused on appreciating the people and things in my life. Or, said another way, wanting the things I have. I cannot tell you what a profound change this has had in my level of happiness. It has made an incredible impact on my life.
Everyone wants to be appreciated. I have made a commitment to tell each person in my life one genuine appreciation each day. I make sure I tell my wife I appreciated her doing the dishes, or how handsomely she dressed the boys, or how much I appreciated her making my favorite dinner. Something that she did during that day that I noticed and really appreciated. I do the same thing with my kids. I have made a conscious effort to let them know something that they did during the day that I really appreciated, like eating their peas at dinner without complaining, or cleaning their room the first time I asked them. The amazing thing is that once I started doing this (and I started doing this without telling them that I was going to start doing it), our relationships immediately began to change. My wife started to smile more (and make dinner more often) and my kids, don’t even get me started. There is just very little discipline needed anymore. They seem to have gotten it and look forward to doing that extra something nice for me to notice. Life just runs much more smoothly.
But the biggest change has been made in me. I look for those little things to notice and comment on and people return the favor by appreciating the things I do.
It might sound weird or crazy, but try it. Just make a commitment with yourself that you are going shower your spouse or significant other with at least one genuine statement of appreciation for something they did each day for the next three weeks. Don’t tell them you are going to do it. Just start doing it.
Please drop me a comment and let me know how it goes. I think you will be as pleasantly surprised as I have been. This stuff really works.
-- rockabillie at 3:25 p.m.