2005-08-24
Golden Palace
All right, this is sort of weird post, but I was thinking today about homosexuality. This is certainly not in a homophobic way, in fact, it is just the opposite. I know I am not gay, the thought of being with a man holds no interest to me. In fact, I really cannot figure out what women find attractive about men. We are hairy, sweaty beasts. Most of the guys you see when you look around have a gut. Wow, if there is something less sexy than a hairy, sweaty guy with a dunlop gut (as in his gut done lopped over his belt), I don’t know what it is. O.K, maybe with the flat belly and the some chiseled (and shaved?) muscles we might be on to something a little more attractive than the run of mill dude on the street. But let’s face it, most of us live in a world where guys are just hairy and sweaty and hopefully don’t have too much of a gut.
I have several friends who are gay. In talking to them, they knew early on they were gay. It was not a choice that they made. They did not say, well kissing Brittany was O.K, but man, I really think I will start kissing Brian. Based on talking to them, most just always really wanted to kiss Brian in the first place, but weren’t quite sure of it. For me, I will take Brittany every time.
Women are soft and warm. Those are the feelings you get each time you are near one. There is no hairy and sweaty. This is what I mean. Holding hands? Her hand will feel soft and warm in yours. Kissing? Well, kissing, that is definitely soft and warm. The female lips are just so supple and gentle, perfectly made for kissing. I cannot speak for every man, but being a breast man, I love the female bosom. They are so, well, soft and warm to caress, hold, and kiss. I love the fact that no two women have exactly the same breasts, yet they are all so wonderfully shaped and would be so excellent to burry my face in. Need I even go farther with this examination of the female form and state that the feminine “Golden Palace of the Himalayas” (as Neil Simon referred to it in Brighton Beach Memoirs) is certainly a soft and warm place. Sure, the Golden Palace might have some hair (though it is a treat when there is none….) but it is certainly not enough to overpower the soft and warm (and wet) treats of the area.
OK, maybe for you soft and warm does not do it. Well, women smell a whole lot better than the average guy. Even a freshly showered guy just could not possibly smell as good as the average woman at the end of the day. My wife thinks it is odd, but I love the way her hair smells. Not the shampoo or anything, just her scent. In fact, twice I have known she was pregnant before she took a test just because her scent smelled different.
I have nothing against homosexuals, but I will take soft and warm over hairy and sweaty any day of the week. I think this is why many hetero-guys think that female homosexuality should be universal (why wouldn’t a woman want to be with another woman). Why wouldn’t soft and warm want to be with more soft and warm.
I am interested in the thoughts of the women folk out there. If you are hetero why does being with a man seem so attractive and does the idea of being with a women seem as odd to you as being with a man is to me?
-- rockabillie at 5:46 p.m.